Shuffle

Because my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning.  Because I have spent 11 hours in the library this week and it's only Tuesday.  Because I have 4 tests in the next two days.  Because I am stressed out and a tear or two may have fallen in my last class because I have so much to do.  Because I gave myself an hour to get my last chapter worth of note cards written and I have two hours to do it.

Music.  I believe that you can learn the most from a person by the music they listen to.  I love music.  Sometimes I listen to songs that will make me sad on purpose and sometimes I am on the verge of blowing my speakers because the song is not given justice if it isn't turned up as loud as it can go.  There are songs out there that have completely changed my outlook on things, people and situations.  MUSIC CAN CHANGE LIVES, I believe that.

No matter how many times I may have heard a song every single time it comes on the radio or my ipod it takes me to a specific memory.  Songs take me back to places.  When I listen to them I can close my eyes and convince myself I am reliving the moment that the song reminds me of.  So what I decided I was going to do was put my ipod on shuffle and write down the memory I have that is affiliated with that song.  This post is more for me than it is for anyone else, but I hope you enjoy.

So here we go. Pushing shuffle… NOW!

1. Sit Still- Brightwood: HOLY CRAP THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST SONG TO COME ON SHUFFLE!!  Summer 2008.  Working at Bistros with Devan.  My little blue phone that I put in the oven.  Open sun roof.  Freedom.  Leather seats.  Hurt.  Most of all I remember SCREAMING this song out the window of my first car in the parking lot of Kholes with Devan when we were shopping for work clothes.  This song y'all… This song!

2. Airplanes- B.o.B & Haley Williams:  Driving down Cannon with Brooke & Kathryn!  We were heading off on one of our many STUCO adventures, probably to get Starbucks or something.  Senior year y'all.

3. Song of Hope- Robbie Seay Band: Mel Baggett.  Jon Baggett.  Glen Lake.  Happiness.  The Chapel.  Summer.  Jami & Shelby.  Trey.  Chris.  Sadness.  A djembe.

4.  Happiness- The Fray: I have two very distinct memories of this song.  1) Summer 2009 at the Fray concert.  They played this song and I ugly cried.  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.  2) Freshman year of college.  I was in the back seat of Brandon Clark's car with Ariel in the front seat.  We were on our way to Walmart to buy steak for family dinner.

5. Undressing the Words- The Maine: The Gristmill in Gruene, TX.  Ice Cream.  Loosing my appetite. LOTS OF SMILING.

6. Fall for You- Secondhand Serenade: TEARS.  California.  Spring Break of 2008.  Sitting on a plane and crying.  This song has no good memories… NEXT!

7. White Houses- Vanessa Carlton:  I was hoping this one would come on!  Devan, Jamie, Chelsea and Paige!  Sitting in the parking lot at Mansfield playing never have I ever.  We then put my mascot costume on and drove around the parking lot with the Tiger's head sticking out of the sunroof with this song BLASTING.  Innocents and too much fun.  This song will ALWAYS remind me of the 5 of us.

8. Boston- Augustana: Jarrod Snyder & Kaitlynn Boyd!  Trantham's yellow truck.  Man, that old yellow truck.  Andrew.  Getting rocks thrown at my window.  Frisbee.  Being carried home.  Hope!  April 12, 2007.  PERFECTION.

9. YOUR LIFE & MINE- JUST SURRENDER:  THIS SONG DESERVES ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS SONG HOLDS MORE EMOTION THAN ANY SONG.  IT'S A DUMB SONG, BUT AT THE AGE OF 15 I WAS OBSESSED WITH IT.  Okay I'll stop with the caps.  Sitting on the bleachers at the practice stadium of Mansfield by myself and indulging in self pity.  Then coming home and Shelby and I wrapped ourselves up in bubble wrap and rolled around in it until all of it was popped!  January of 2008.  Holy wow!

10. Something Beautiful- Needtobreathe:  November of my freshman year of college.  Screaming this song out the window with Shannon as we were turning the corner on Indiana and 19th.

I could go on forever and ever, but like I said this was more for me than anything.  I love music y'all.  LOVE MUSIC!  Now to get those note cards started… :)

brumous.

Brumous (adj.): of grey skies and winter days; filled with heavy clouds or fog; relating to winter or cold, sunless weather

I LOVE THIS WORD.  I discovered it a few weeks ago and decided that it would probably be a good ten months before I could pull this one out of my pocket of intelligent sounding words, but today is the exact definition of brumous so I've been using it left and right.    

We are all aware that I love cold weather.  I love it so much that sometime I purposely don't wear a jacket just so I can embrace the sting of the piercing wind on my skin.  I'm not sure I have an answer for why I love the cold so much I just always have.  Maybe because the cold makes me feel vulnerable, in the sense that I need something other than myself to make me warm.  I cannot rely on my skin and bones or my heart or my knowledge or anything else that makes me who I am to make me warm.  I must resort to heavy jackets, longs socks, boots, apple cider, a fire or another person to keep the blood pumping to my heart.  Vulnerability is the state of being exposed and when I am walking from one side of campus to the other in 30 degree weather I feel completely exposed to the world; it can physically do anything to me it wants and I will allow it.  I cannot always rely on just myself to meet my needs.  Cold weather reminds me of that.

I like fog because it gives me an excuse to use my imagination.  There is not a Walmart behind that cloud, it is a forest of trees and beyond those trees are ice caped mountains.  During the summer of 2007 my family went on a European vacation and one of our many stops was to Edinburgh, Scotland.  We went on a tour of Edinburgh Castle and on this particular July afternoon the whole city was covered in a thick fog, so when I looked over the side of the castle I could not see all of the commercialism.  My dad can take credit for making me view the castle in a way that many other people couldn't.  He told me to imagine the city below us as it was when the castle was built in BC.  I loved putting my imagination to the test and because of it that was one of the most special experiences on that trip.  Today as I was driving I could only see 40 feet in front of me, so I reminded myself of that day in Scotland and decided that today I was going to use my imagination in the same way.  Right now I am looking out the window of my third floor apartment and I can see the houses and cars, but beyond that I am imagining a lake that is so close to being frozen, but because of the warm week we had it is not.  Surrounding the lake are massive pine trees and tall hills.  

As much as I love the winter, the world is dead.  Lucky for us in a few weeks it will be brought back to life with warm days and lots of colors.  Today is dark and gloomy, but we have bright and beautiful to look forward to.  It is guaranteed that there are better more beautiful things a few weeks away.  I will celebrate the fact that there is as much hope for my life as there is for this brumous day!  

This morning I woke up to a little bit of that colorful hope.  I am in love with this bouquet of flowers.  IN LOVE. 

 Lubbock's brumous' day.  Can you see the lake and pine trees? :) 

Seek the beauty.

“Young writers should read books past bedtime and write things down when they are supposed to be doing something else.” 

I should definitely still be studying, but then this quote came to mind and I figured what would jotting a few thoughts down hurt? 

I am writing via McKenzie Park this afternoon.  My sweet roommate decided that going to the park would be the only appropriate thing to do with her afternoon considering it's a glorious 65 degrees outside, so I decided she was right and that I would tag along.  As we were leaving our apartment it looked like the two of us were headed off to a camping trip: backpacks, fold out chair, hammock, nalgene, strawberries and popcorn. 

Lubbock is not pretty guys, like not even a little bit.  Maybe when it snows it’s pretty and in the fall when you’re surrounded by a few of the ten trees this city has it shines a little, but not much.  As I was sitting here studying I looked up to admire the pretty pond in front of me and I thought, “Man this is gorgeous!”  In that moment there was nothing sweeter than this view…

To you it looks like a blue sky, a small pond, a few trees and a there is an ugly grey truck in the background that completely throws the picture off.  But what you don’t see is the completely content feeling in my heart.  What you don’t see is my best friend hanging in a hammock behind me reading a book.  What you don’t see is the constant, light breeze that is gently blowing my hair in front of my eyes.  What you don’t see is that about every three minutes that cool breeze turns into a warm breeze that has my heart beating at all different speeds. 

I believe that the Lord has given me a heart that always strives to seek out the beauty.  Sometimes seeking out the beauty in things leaves me disappointed, but I would rather have the heart I have than a heart that sits here and sees only the brown grass, that hears only the loud ducks and smells only the light stench.  Today is a gift and even though our society is teaching us to view life with an ugly lens I will not conform. 

I will seek the beauty.    

Just reading through my rhetoric book & they're talking about Jesus for like 3 whole pages!  

Popcorn in a zip lock bag, for the win!

Hannah's new patty backpack that she loves!  

yes more and no less!

Once upon a time I declared January 20th, or so, as national ditch your New Years resolution day.  There is something about working really hard at something for 20 days and feeling like that was the best you could do, so you get over it and move onto the next thing.  Lucky for me, in the world of Heather, I'm always coming up with something else I would like to get done during the year.  Maybe that's not SUCH a bad problem to have.

So this past weekend I came up with a NEW new years resolution: say yes more and no less!  I recently talked about fun lacking in my life, so how I plan on solving that is through saying yes to fun opportunities more than saying no to them.  You know where this new little phrase got me this past weekend? KANSAS CITY, MO.  That's right people, I said yes to driving 21 hours (1200 miles) in 3 days and boy was it so worth it.

Myself and 3 of the most entertaining girls drove FOREVER to visit our sweet friend Haley in KCMO! Cold weather, Thrift Shop, Christ centered conversations, Thrift Shop, dancing, Thrift Shop, Vampire Diaries, Thrift Shop, food, Thrift Shop, Silver Linings Playbook, Thrift Shop, lots of laughs, Thrift Shop, Patriots game and even more Thrift Shop filled 2 complete days of awesome.

Don't cheat yourself out of living a fun life.  Say yes more and no less!
 
I had so much more I wanted to say, but for some reason my creative juices start running at late hours and I also just wrote a 3 and half page paper and I'm afraid if I go on much longer I'll end up going on a tangent about feminism and gender equality and nobody wants to hear that, so…

I took all of 15 pictures this weekend and I am kicking myself for it, but here is one of me and my darling Caroline!  I love this girls heart.  

Cheers to adventure and love and life and beauty and music and friends and everything else that is making this heart of mine beat a million miles an hour this evening :) 

Cliches.

I hate cliches, because once something becomes a cliche the beauty that the phrase or action holds looses all its special points.  It becomes another face in a crowd of people and that's just a tragedy. 

Tonight has been somewhat of a somber evening; lots of not moving, staring at the celling, thinking and MAYBE a few tears.  Not so sure where they came from but somewhere between admiring Anne Hathaway's elegance and yelling at the TV when Zooey D didn't win her award I got a little mopey.  I truly don't understand how my mind works, like at all, it makes ZERO sense, then when emotions get involved there's a whole lot of pep talking myself out of my funk, trying to figure out why I'm even in a funk, then I pick myself up and decide that I'm probably one of the more pathetic people I know.  Girls you can relate, right?  I mean if I really am alone on this then I guess that's fine too…

One of the few things I pondered while staring at my celling was the way I've been living a not so joyful life recently.  I'm not so sure I like the way things are right now; I don't have as much fun as I think I should, I worry way too much, I over analyze, dwell on things that are just not important at all and who's got time for all this ugly to take up room in an unbelievably beautiful life?  I did; I made time and space for the ugly and that's a bigger tragedy than perfectly perfect words getting lost in a sea of other perfectly perfect words.  So while I played catch-the-propeller-on-my-fan-with-my-eyes I got really mad at myself for allowing so much negativity into my fairly positive mind, and in that moment I heard the Lord whisper a cliche in my ear: 

"Do the things you love and surround yourself with the people who TRULY treasure you."  

My New Years resolution was to set aside time to specifically pray for what the Lord wants me to do with my life.  I will be graduating in a year and a half and all I know is that I want to live in the mountains of Colorado.  I've been stressed and annoyed with myself because my dream is Colorado, it isn't to be a doctor or a lawyer or a teacher or a veterinarian!  However I need to have a career and I do dream of being successful but living in the mountains isn't going to make me money, so then we're back at square one; pleading with the Lord, telling Him that He needs to give me SOMETHING to work with.  

"Do the things you love and surround yourself with the people who TRULY treasure you."

We've all been told to do these things, but tonight these perfectly perfect words found a cozy place in my soul and I'm gonna let them stay a while.  I will not let this phrase lose it's special points!  

So what does this even REALLY mean?  That was the next trail my mind decided to wonder down. 

I'm ridiculously passionate about a lot of different things: people, writing, the Lord, art (in all it's forms), theories, photography, dogs and… and… and… 

I also have a list of people who love me so much and care deeply about me.  These are people who have such a deep respect for me and genuinely care about my heart.  

Whoop there it is, that's what I'm going to do until the Lord whispers another cliche in my ear: I'm going to do the things I love and I'm going to surround myself with the people who TRULY treasure me.  

Oh and I also just spent the most amazing month at home with my family and those are 4 people that I know treasure me and love me unconditionally, these are 2 of them.  Only the most precious brother and sister a girl could have.  

The 5 senses of Christmas!

Just a little FYI, as I write this I want you all to be aware of the pants I am wearing.  They are some comfy Christmas pajama bottoms that I'm not sure I have words for.  Just imagine patches of different colored snowflakes, we've got some polk-a-dots, a little red ribbon and a whole lot of greens and reds.  They are rather embarrassing, but at some point I thought they were a solid gift so I'll sport them on this eve of Christmas eve.  

So my family is HUGE on traditions and I guess I can take about 80% of the blame for making us that way (if we do something once, I insist we do it again the next year, the EXACT same way).  

The eve of Christmas Eve is the night my family piles in a car, Trevor in the trunk, and we drive around listening to our favorite Christmas CD (Hilary Duff, of course) and look at Christmas lights.  We then come home and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas, that's what we're doing right now.  We're all sprawled out on the couch in the media room, enjoying homemade creme brulee!  All is right in the world. 

I wanted to share the 5 senses of Christmas, according to me!  

When I think of Christmas, this is what I expect to see:

Lots of wrapping paper, ribbon and tissue paper.  Wrapping is an art form here at the Huante's house.  

Along with al those wrapping goodies the way my house is decorated is what Chritmas looks like to me.  This view gives me the warm in fuzzies in a way that nothing else can. 

This is what Christmas tastes like:

Mom's cheddar potato soup.  One of our many traditions is eating this delicious soup & finger sandwiches for dinner on Christmas Eve.  Mom made a huge pot today so we'll get to eat it tomorrow night, then the next and the next, until all that cheesy goodness is gone. 

This is what Christmas smells like:  Mom's toffee.  This is my most favorite thing about Christmas time.  Mom probably makes somewhere between 8 and 10 batches a year.  This stuff is indescribable.  Just imagine a pound of butter, 2 cups of sugar, pecans and a whole crap load of chocolate all put into one.  Making this stuff requires a special touch and my mom has it!  I cannot remember a Christmas that she wasn't making this stuff.  The smell is wonderful, it lingers throughout our whole house for hours after she makes it (she made a batch about an hour ago and the smell is stuck in my nose).

(This was taken before all the chocolate was spread.  HOLY YUMM!) 

This is what Christmas sounds like:  Hilary Duff, Disney Christmas, Aly & Aj.  Go ahead, laugh.  We laugh too, but these albums are TRADITION.  We jam to these for a month straight, put them in a drawer when Christmas is over then pull them out 11 months later.  

This is what Christmas feels like (substituting for touch, because what is a "touch" of Christmas supposed to mean anyway):  Peace, joy, love.  This picture was taking a few days ago when my family went to downtown Fort Worth to walk around.  Being surrounded by these crazy fools is exactly what Christmas feels like.  We all turn into 5 year olds during this time of the year, hints the Hilary Duff Christmas CD.  I love these people!!

Well friends I'm going to go enjoy the rest of A Charlie Brown Christmas with those crazy kids pictured above.  I hope you all have the most Merry of Christmas' :) 

HAHAHA before we made our way upstairs to start this movie my dad snagged this photo of me blogging!  Check out the pants.  Festive, huh?  

Grandma's & shopping.

On a day to day basis my favorite kind of people are parents.  The way they love, the way they cook, the way they want to be apart of every aspect of my life.  It's cute, really.  But on a day I get to spend time with either of my Grandma's, grandma's are my favorite kind of people.  

This woman's name is Nana and she is British.  This lovely lady was raised in Manchester, England then moved to the States when she met my Grandaddy.  It's a great love story, but maybe it's only great to me because they're part of my story too.  Rather than boring you with the sweet details of how he had to ask her to marry him 3 times & move across the world so they could build a life together or the beautiful story I've heard 736 times (approximately) about how she waited under the clock tower in Germany for him I'll go ahead and move onto why she is the most precious lady on planet Earth.  She probably beats out all the Nana's on Mars and Jupiter too, but really I can only speak for this planet.  She drinks tea almost every afternoon.  TEA.  Because she's BRITISH.  She appreciates every single second of the day and all of the little adventures that come along with being 88 years old.  We went and visited Nana in her adorable retirement home last weekend & we brought Christmas with us.  We brought her a few presents, but before she unwrapped them she hugged them!! She then peeled off all the wrapping paper with such technique leaving the paper completely intact.  The way this woman appreciates life is BEAUTIFUL.  The way she loves is BEAUTIFUL.  The way she gives so generously is BEAUTIFUL.  In this picture Nana was sharing old photos with me.  We went through about 4 albums.  My dad and her told stories about my Grandaddy that I never got to meet.  In one of those albums was a picture taken by him of JFK the day before he was shot (HOOOOOWWWWW COOOOOOOL!!!!!!).  He was a professional photographer for the the government!!  I can only dream to be as cool as him, or my Nana.  You can learn a lot from your grandparents.  Lots of old wisdom that can only be given by such sweet souls.  

Now this is Grandma and she is as cute as a button.  She told me she loves reading my blogs so here's you're little shout-out Grandma!  I am blessed by this woman's love.  We ventured to Grandbury yesterday for a little shopping day.  We spent a good two hours at BABES (!!!!!!!!!!!!!) talking about love languages (my favorite topic for any conversation) and such.  We then walked and talked and walked and talked and she stressed out about buying the perfect Christmas presents for everyone.  Shannon & I played dress up then took a fat nap in the car on the drive home.  

Grandma's, they're the sweetest, cutest, most lovely people and although I'm a little bias, these are two of the greatest this worlds got! 

Just a few pictures from our shopping day: 

I realize this is only half of Shannon's face, but I LOVE this picture.

Remember those RIDICULOUS popcorn shirts from forever ago?  Confession:  I always wanted one.  Thank you Mom & Dad for never following through with my requests of owning one of these… shirts that fit anyone.  

This is our attempt at a sorority girl pose.  Nailed it?