A dream come true.

Over the course of the last 4 years I would catch myself daydreaming about the life I would one day live in Colorado.  I've planned out the trails I would walk my dog down, the coffee shops I would go to when I wanted to read, the friends I would make and the food I would eat.  When I had trouble falling asleep I would mentally plan a layout for my house; I planned everything from where all the furniture would go to what I would see when I looked out each window.  Yesterday, as my coworkers and I were climbing up the side of a mountain, my sweet new friend Brittany said, "We live in Colorado, how cool is that?"  I then proceeded to proclaim over the Continental Divide, "I LIVE IN COLORADO!!"  This is an absolute dream; a dream I've been dreaming since I was eight years old.  My soul is SO happy and SO content.  

I have learned more than I ever thought possible about the city of Denver over the last week and a half.  Early mornings and late evenings of training and preparing for this summer have been a lot of work, but there is something indescribable about getting paid to live in a city you love while serving a God who knew I would eventually end up here.  His plan for my life was perfected during the first 6 days (thanks Mrs. Brooks :)) and He has so divinely orchestrated every single one of my steps and that gives my heart a new kind of joy.  

Part of our training has included visiting a large number of the ministry sites we will be taking our groups to while they are here on their mission trips.  We have gotten to serve our homeless friends, we've gotten to fellowship with our homeless friends, we've gotten to work in a thrift shop that hires refugees, we've gotten to go door to door with burritos and prayers at motels throughout Denver.  

I've seen a lot of brokenness, a lot of healing, a lot of joy and a lot of sadness over the last week and a half, but you know what the Lord makes NO mistakes.  I have been dwelling in Psalms 139 for a good 3 months now.  I read it a good two to three times a day because those verses describe exactly who I am in the image of Christ. I am nothing less than what those verses say and neither are ANY of the people I've met here in Denver.  The Bible is a book written for everyone, and there are no exceptions to that.  

My new friend Devin, that I met at the BAC, who is 20 years old moved to Denver from San Antonio to live with his mom, but for different reasons his mom and him don't talk anymore so I have no idea where he is living now.  However, there is not a doubt in my mind that The Lord is holding Devin in the palm of his hand.  

Steve, a vender for the Voice (a homeless newspaper written by the homeless for the homeless), is the most brilliant person I have ever met.  We all decided if he were to cut his hair a little bit and take off his hat he could be a professor.  Really though, He was BRILLIANT.  

Saybien (I am probably spelling his name wrong) is our sweet homeless friend from Alaska.  We've spent a lot of time getting to know him because he hangs out at the church across the street from our house.  We've helped bandage up his leg, bought him Burger King, talked with him, prayed with him and let him cry to us.  His two favorite verses are, "Jesus wept" and "What you do for the least of these, you do for me" and he will let you know it every single time you sit down to talk with him.  

Psalm 139:15 says I was created in a secret place, and that I was woven together in the depths of the Earth.  My friends Devin, Steve and Saybien were also created in a secret place, and they too were woven together in the depths of the Earth.  I am a joy to the Lord and my new friends are a joy to the Lord.  I am no more and no less of a person than Devin, Steve and Saybien in the eyes of the Lord.  Thank goodness for that!!

Just because I want to brag on this cool city I get to call home for the next 2 months I'm going to, very quickly, share some of other REALLY cool things I've seen in the last 11 days:

Purple door coffee:  They hire homeless runaways and serve the BEST vanilla lattes.  

Hanging out with day laborers:  These are the people who stand out in all kinds of weather hoping someone will come pick them up and take them to work.  We got to serve them coffee and pastries while they waited for work.

Mean Streets: A group of people go out every Monday and Tuesday to love on the people living in Motels off of Colfax.

S.A.M.E. Cafe- You can pay what you think they meal is worth or you can clean tables, sweep the sidewalk or other work for your lunch.  They served some of the best pesto chicken pizza I've ever tasted!

This is the sweet life.  I get to love on people every single day, for the Lord's glory.  All I have to do is look west and I'll see mountains.  I am working along side some of the most beautiful souls.  God reigns over all and I am secure under His hand of protection. 

First aid & prayers for Saybien.  

The city of Denver is blessed by this place. 

12,000 feet up in the sky.  

My heart is full of love because of these two.  We decided to put all our beds together and watch High School Musical last night.  I am thankful that they appreciate a good adventure and a healthy amount of snuggle time.  

This moment.

I am having a moment and rather than sitting on it I thought I would capture it with a few, simple words.  

This moment is one of those flop down on my bed and stare at the four blank walls surrounding me moments.  This moment is not monumental or life changing.  There is nothing too profound or significant about this moment, I just know this is something I will remember.   

This feeling/moment comes at the end of every spring semester.  It is mixed with a whole lot of "I'm not really sure how I should feel right now" emotions.  This heavy, anxious, nervous, sad, happy, unsure feeling comes at the end of every summer I've spent at home, every Christmas break and any time I've left Lubbock for more than a week.  I like to call this moment right here the "I'm turning the page" moment.  It is not the end of a big event or a life changing move or anything else too crazy, it's just the character in a book going on a long vacation, closing the door on a relationship, changing jobs or moving houses.  Tomorrow, I am turning the page.  Tomorrow, I leave the apartment I've been living in for the past 2 years for the last time.  Tomorrow, I say goodbye to my best friends for a whole 3 months.  Tomorrow, I pack up what's left of my room and drive home.  Okay, so maybe it is a little more than just a page.  

I just really, REALLY love Lubbock, Texas and it makes me sad to think that I will be turning a lot more than just a page this time next year.  

Praise the Lord for His divine plan for my life.  Praise the Lord! 

My heart is freeeee!

Just so you are aware, this post was inspired by a really wonderful smelling candle and the sun that is beaming through my window.

These moments do not come around too often, but I know that this feeling I have right now is something I never want to forget.

Friends, I am obsessed with this season of my life.  I am MADLY in love with the people in my life.  I am jumping up and down at the idea of being in a state of transition.  I have the butterflies ALL THE TIME because the God who reigns over all of the Earth tells me I am RIGHTEOUS.  If you haven't noticed the smile that has been plastered on my face all week, then I would like you to picture an ear to ear, mouth wide open, squinty eyes smile and you've got an idea of why my cheek bones have been sore.  

I have never felt so special, so loved, so taken care of, so adored and so desired.  

The joy of the Lord is a REAL thing.  All I want to do is sing and dance and smile and jump up and down and curl up in a ball and sway back in forth.  I was sitting on the edge of my bed this afternoon and became so overwhelmed with every kind of happy emotion, so I stood up and began to jump up and down!  This is the joy I am talking about guys.  You do not have to be happy, but you can CHOOSE to be joyful.  You are the only thing keeping yourself from experiencing this joy!  Right now, get up and jump to the sky.  RIGHT NOW I TELL YOU!

I wish Friday afternoons were a physical thing I could hug, because man do I wish I could just wrap them up in my arms and whisper "thaaaaaank you for being great" in their ear.  Today and tomorrow and yesterday and every other day is PERFECT, because this joy is always offered and always tangible.  Jump to the sky for this joy!  

I am really, really, really excited about life right now.

AND I LEAVE FOR DENVER, CO IN 24 DAYS!!!!! Bring on the new adventures. 

Goodness guys, go get yourself some of this joy.  GO GET IT! 

Hometown glory.

I set aside the next hour and a half to study, but I've been lacking inspiration for the past two days and of course I found it at 8 this morning, so here we go. 

Friendships are the sweetest part of my life.  I find the MOST joy in sitting in the presence of people I love.  I like to talk and encourage them, but more than anything I love simply sitting with them.  I speak my loudest words through silence and facial expressions.  As much as I love and cling to words I find peace in the silent conversation going on between myself and the people around me.  

It is no secret that I am LOUD, LOUD, LOUD.  I can't tell you how many times a day someone tells me to stop yelling at them.  (My parents actually thought I had a hearing problem when I was little because I talked so loud…)  Sometimes people think I am in a bad mood or frustrated when I'm not talking, but really I'm enjoying the sitting back and listening.  

I AM RICH IN GOOD FRIENDS.  I have the 4 most beautiful, free spirited hometown best friends that I talk to all the time.  These girls KNOW ME.  They understand my silence and my loud, excited, high pitched squeals.  The 5 of us ALL got together for the first time since Christmas last Friday and we had to leave the restaurant we were being so loud.  One of us would walk in the door and we would all stand up and greet each other with the sweet hugs and big smiles.  It felt like we were in a movie, five best friends reuniting, all trying to talk over each other, trying to tell this story and that story.  I'm pretty sure at one point we had to start taking turns talking.  All 4 of these sweet girls plan on being teachers and I do not so you can imagine how often I have to sit back and just listen to what they have to say.  We moved to a table outside of the restaurant so we could talk louder and make all the inappropriate jokes we wanted to without being judged by the highly annoyed waitresses… For a good 30 minutes I sat back and let the 4 of them talk out student teaching stories, this kid did that stories and all that other teacher stuff I know NOTHING about.  

I was looking off into the distance, letting them talk talk talk, while I took in the fact that I was at my favorite hole in the wall mexican food restaurant with my favorite people.   I was also taking in the fact that things were about to really change for all of us.  College has been easy, we have not lost an ounce of contact-- we talk ALL THE TIME.  But real life is HERE. 

Life is so cool in the way it is so consistent yet changing ALL the time.  There are aspects of my life that alter, but ultimately stay the exact same and these girls are part of that consistency.  It has always been known that every Thanksgiving, Christmas and at least a week or two out of the summer we would all be able to sit down and catch up face-to-face.  A piece of that consistency will be changing in the next few months and that is just as sad as it is exciting.  Since we were in high school we've all been working towards some kind of dream and now those dreams are being made into a reality and to that I say, "CHAMPAIGN ALL AROUND!!"  But man it's a little sad at the same time.  

I think my favorite and least favorite part about life is the change.  I am huge on tradition and even bigger on things ALWAYS STAYING THE SAME, but at the same time I love uncertainty and all the adventure that comes along with that.  I am constantly reminding myself to live in the now rather than in the tomorrow, I just get so excited about the next chapter of my life and I want to know what's next!  I find joy in knowing that I am taken care of, all the days of my life are ordained and I have full faith that those days are filled with a whole bunch of dancing, good music, good food, lovely people, adventure, love and peace.  

There will always ALWAYS be something special about driving through Mansfield with my 4 best friends and country music blaring.  There is laughter and love and squeals and smiles and tears and love and hurt and uncertainty and beauty and everything lying in the hearts of each of us and together we can sit in silence and just know.  That is special and something I will always cherish. 

This morning I am especially thankful for Natasa, Summer, Whitney and Lindsey.  

THEN

NOW

THEN

NOW

THEN

NOW

THEN

NOW

THESE ARE MY PEOPLE! 

Wait no more, the hurts & happy's, people, Bill Keys, and too much more.

If only I could gather all my thoughts into a few coherent sentences and call it a day, but that would be way too easy.  I've got too much on my mind today.  Way too much!  

One of the coolest things about waking up in the morning is knowing that the day in front of me has the potential to be the best day of my life.  The human race is sitting around waiting for things, people, occasions, experiences and so much more to come along before they allow themselves to really start living.  We are constantly in a time of waiting; waiting for things to get better, waiting for the right person to come along, waiting to be happy again, waiting, waiting, waiting.  NO MORE I TELL YOU.  I think I owe it to Ecclesiastes for giving me this fresh out look on my life, but really life is too short to not enjoy EVERY LITTLE THING that it has to offer.  (GO READ ECCLESIASTES, IT'S MY FAVORITE BOOK!)  

I want to experience every emotion, challenge, trial, struggle, joy, laugh, stressful situation, windy day, hug, squeeze, touch, breath, step with everything that it has to offer.  I want to fully take in the hurts and happy's of life.  Do not allow yourself to sit around waiting for whatever it is you are waiting for, you are RIGHT HERE for a reason.  Enjoy all the reasons why you're in this season of your life; wether it be a hurt, a happy or somewhere in between it's something to celebrate.  Everything happening right this instant is preparing you for tomorrow and the day after that and so on.  WAIT NO LONGER.  Get out there people, go enjoy your entirely too short life before you can't any longer.  

I've had a few "best days of my life" over the last week.  Oh and that's the other thing, don't think that you can only have one best day of your life.  That's a myth.  Everyday has it in it to provide you with endless smiles, laughs and other warm and fuzzies that make your heart beat fast.  

The day started with sleeping in past 11 AM and I almost cried when I woke up I was so happy.  A short drive to Austin, a walk around Zilker Park, a pretty skyline, pointing and laughing down 6th street, a visit to my favorite store in all the land, fruity snow cones that could change your life, getting stuck in traffic on Congress at 5:30 PM on a Monday afternoon, frisbee on the lawn of the Capitol, melt in your mouth brisket tacos, celebrity sitings, banana splits at the Driskill and a run in with Bill Keys while in the company of my favorite people.  

Over the course of the last 2 weeks I have been asked by 5 different people what I am passionate about and my answer is always people.  I am obsessed with the fact that the Lord of the Universe has perfectly ordained every single step of every single person on the planet.  I want to know ALL about those steps; their experiences, their obstacles, their loves, their fears, and all those other things I said that we needed in order to experience life to its fullest.  I want to know what people believe in, what makes them upset and what makes them who they are.  Something I've been learning recently is how totally different everyone is.  Of course people have similarities, but the things that make us who we are, are so incredibly different.  Our dreams, hopes, fears and all that other stuff are unlike anyone else's.  

Bill Keys.  We were headed to the Driskill Hotel for one of those famous banana splits I've heard people rave about when we saw this precious man setting up a table on the corner of 6th & Congress.  He had a little type writer and a sign that said, "poems about anyone or anything."   Over the course of him writing 5 poems for us we got to talking to this sweet man.  While we were waiting he let us read some of his work.  I love reading other people's words; this gives me the insight I crave to know about people so I was flipping through those pages, taking pictures of the ones I liked the best and cheesing too big.  Now I'm not sure if YOU consider mountains something you can be passionate about, but right behind people, mountains are what get my heart beating fast.  I decided that I wanted my poem to be about Mr. Bill Keys perspective on mountains.  I know why they make me joyful, but I wanted to know his views on them.  I'll share my favorite line of the poem, 

The way life creates itself

Uninfluenced by thinking brains

Nature huge and uninhibited

For miles and miles

I got to hear some of Bill's story and as we walked away we got to tell him how encouraged and inspired we were by him.  

Things like this are why I am so passionate about people.  

There are people to encounter and stories to hear and you will not fully take in these little treasures if you are stuck waiting.  You've got people to inspire and dreams to follow.  If you are going to wait, enjoy and embrace the waiting.  But don't allow it to consume you.  You've got too much going for you to allow the uncertainties to take up time in your short life. 

So, finish this day off knowing that it has the potential to be the best day of your life.  You don't need whatever it is that you're waiting for to make today the best.  It's up to you and you alone.  This is your life and you shouldn't let anyone but yourself dictate your state of mind.  

Ok, Heather.  It's time to get off of the soapbox.  

(You know I've never really understood that term. I think I'll go urban dictionary it.)  

That pretty skyline I was talking about.  

Mango, orange & margatitaaaaa snow cones FTW. 

One might think this was posed, but it wasn't.  Sweet Emma is the cutest.  

Uhm, okay beautiful day.  Thank you Capitol lawn for welcoming us with your cold green grass and perfect trees.  We approve ATX, we approve. 

THE Joseph Gordon- Levitt is standing about 40 feet from us in this picture.  Yes, we screamed. 

The man himself, Bill Keys. 

Yeah, it was worth $10.  

Shuffle

Because my alarm went off at 5:30 this morning.  Because I have spent 11 hours in the library this week and it's only Tuesday.  Because I have 4 tests in the next two days.  Because I am stressed out and a tear or two may have fallen in my last class because I have so much to do.  Because I gave myself an hour to get my last chapter worth of note cards written and I have two hours to do it.

Music.  I believe that you can learn the most from a person by the music they listen to.  I love music.  Sometimes I listen to songs that will make me sad on purpose and sometimes I am on the verge of blowing my speakers because the song is not given justice if it isn't turned up as loud as it can go.  There are songs out there that have completely changed my outlook on things, people and situations.  MUSIC CAN CHANGE LIVES, I believe that.

No matter how many times I may have heard a song every single time it comes on the radio or my ipod it takes me to a specific memory.  Songs take me back to places.  When I listen to them I can close my eyes and convince myself I am reliving the moment that the song reminds me of.  So what I decided I was going to do was put my ipod on shuffle and write down the memory I have that is affiliated with that song.  This post is more for me than it is for anyone else, but I hope you enjoy.

So here we go. Pushing shuffle… NOW!

1. Sit Still- Brightwood: HOLY CRAP THIS WOULD BE THE FIRST SONG TO COME ON SHUFFLE!!  Summer 2008.  Working at Bistros with Devan.  My little blue phone that I put in the oven.  Open sun roof.  Freedom.  Leather seats.  Hurt.  Most of all I remember SCREAMING this song out the window of my first car in the parking lot of Kholes with Devan when we were shopping for work clothes.  This song y'all… This song!

2. Airplanes- B.o.B & Haley Williams:  Driving down Cannon with Brooke & Kathryn!  We were heading off on one of our many STUCO adventures, probably to get Starbucks or something.  Senior year y'all.

3. Song of Hope- Robbie Seay Band: Mel Baggett.  Jon Baggett.  Glen Lake.  Happiness.  The Chapel.  Summer.  Jami & Shelby.  Trey.  Chris.  Sadness.  A djembe.

4.  Happiness- The Fray: I have two very distinct memories of this song.  1) Summer 2009 at the Fray concert.  They played this song and I ugly cried.  IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.  2) Freshman year of college.  I was in the back seat of Brandon Clark's car with Ariel in the front seat.  We were on our way to Walmart to buy steak for family dinner.

5. Undressing the Words- The Maine: The Gristmill in Gruene, TX.  Ice Cream.  Loosing my appetite. LOTS OF SMILING.

6. Fall for You- Secondhand Serenade: TEARS.  California.  Spring Break of 2008.  Sitting on a plane and crying.  This song has no good memories… NEXT!

7. White Houses- Vanessa Carlton:  I was hoping this one would come on!  Devan, Jamie, Chelsea and Paige!  Sitting in the parking lot at Mansfield playing never have I ever.  We then put my mascot costume on and drove around the parking lot with the Tiger's head sticking out of the sunroof with this song BLASTING.  Innocents and too much fun.  This song will ALWAYS remind me of the 5 of us.

8. Boston- Augustana: Jarrod Snyder & Kaitlynn Boyd!  Trantham's yellow truck.  Man, that old yellow truck.  Andrew.  Getting rocks thrown at my window.  Frisbee.  Being carried home.  Hope!  April 12, 2007.  PERFECTION.

9. YOUR LIFE & MINE- JUST SURRENDER:  THIS SONG DESERVES ALL CAPS BECAUSE THIS SONG HOLDS MORE EMOTION THAN ANY SONG.  IT'S A DUMB SONG, BUT AT THE AGE OF 15 I WAS OBSESSED WITH IT.  Okay I'll stop with the caps.  Sitting on the bleachers at the practice stadium of Mansfield by myself and indulging in self pity.  Then coming home and Shelby and I wrapped ourselves up in bubble wrap and rolled around in it until all of it was popped!  January of 2008.  Holy wow!

10. Something Beautiful- Needtobreathe:  November of my freshman year of college.  Screaming this song out the window with Shannon as we were turning the corner on Indiana and 19th.

I could go on forever and ever, but like I said this was more for me than anything.  I love music y'all.  LOVE MUSIC!  Now to get those note cards started… :)

brumous.

Brumous (adj.): of grey skies and winter days; filled with heavy clouds or fog; relating to winter or cold, sunless weather

I LOVE THIS WORD.  I discovered it a few weeks ago and decided that it would probably be a good ten months before I could pull this one out of my pocket of intelligent sounding words, but today is the exact definition of brumous so I've been using it left and right.    

We are all aware that I love cold weather.  I love it so much that sometime I purposely don't wear a jacket just so I can embrace the sting of the piercing wind on my skin.  I'm not sure I have an answer for why I love the cold so much I just always have.  Maybe because the cold makes me feel vulnerable, in the sense that I need something other than myself to make me warm.  I cannot rely on my skin and bones or my heart or my knowledge or anything else that makes me who I am to make me warm.  I must resort to heavy jackets, longs socks, boots, apple cider, a fire or another person to keep the blood pumping to my heart.  Vulnerability is the state of being exposed and when I am walking from one side of campus to the other in 30 degree weather I feel completely exposed to the world; it can physically do anything to me it wants and I will allow it.  I cannot always rely on just myself to meet my needs.  Cold weather reminds me of that.

I like fog because it gives me an excuse to use my imagination.  There is not a Walmart behind that cloud, it is a forest of trees and beyond those trees are ice caped mountains.  During the summer of 2007 my family went on a European vacation and one of our many stops was to Edinburgh, Scotland.  We went on a tour of Edinburgh Castle and on this particular July afternoon the whole city was covered in a thick fog, so when I looked over the side of the castle I could not see all of the commercialism.  My dad can take credit for making me view the castle in a way that many other people couldn't.  He told me to imagine the city below us as it was when the castle was built in BC.  I loved putting my imagination to the test and because of it that was one of the most special experiences on that trip.  Today as I was driving I could only see 40 feet in front of me, so I reminded myself of that day in Scotland and decided that today I was going to use my imagination in the same way.  Right now I am looking out the window of my third floor apartment and I can see the houses and cars, but beyond that I am imagining a lake that is so close to being frozen, but because of the warm week we had it is not.  Surrounding the lake are massive pine trees and tall hills.  

As much as I love the winter, the world is dead.  Lucky for us in a few weeks it will be brought back to life with warm days and lots of colors.  Today is dark and gloomy, but we have bright and beautiful to look forward to.  It is guaranteed that there are better more beautiful things a few weeks away.  I will celebrate the fact that there is as much hope for my life as there is for this brumous day!  

This morning I woke up to a little bit of that colorful hope.  I am in love with this bouquet of flowers.  IN LOVE. 

 Lubbock's brumous' day.  Can you see the lake and pine trees? :)