Feet. Eyes. Hands.

   I’ve rewritten this line countless times.  I don’t even know how to put my feelings into mere thoughts, nevertheless words.  Bare with me friends. 

 Feet.

I have a mad obsession with Romans 10:15.  “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news.”  This verse refers to Isaiah 52:7, “ How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, ‘Your God reigns!’”

Mine started in Arlington, TX, then they moved to Mansfield, TX, then to Lubbock, TX, now to Denver, CO.  They’ve also been to Europe, Mexico, California, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Kentucky and several other states. At this moment they are free of shoes and relaxing under a tree at a really pretty park. 

This week I am working with a group who is leading a VBS at a church outside of Denver.  They make my job easy, because they have everything planned, so I get to do more observing than normal and I am so thankful for that.  The VBS is for children ages 5-12, but we’ve had a few 3 and 4 year olds show up and you will hear no complaining from me because my heart has been longing to hold a young child.  Yesterday, as I was sitting back watching my group lead the kids in silly VBS songs, I found myself STARRING at all the children’s feet.  I do not know where those small feet have been, but I became so overwhelmed with joy for each pair.  There is no way of knowing where they will go, but I am brought to tears knowing that they have endless opportunities in front of them.  All I know about these kids is that they love coloring and more than that they love candy; I do not know where they come from or how fake some of their smiles maybe, but today I got to watch them jump up and down, dance, run in circles.  I got to watch them get caught behind each other causing the child to fall down, I watched them walk with purpose and halt to a stop when told to slow down.  I pray for their feet; I hope they grow to deliver the good news talked about in Romans & Isaiah, I pray that as they grow up and out of this sweet stage of innocence that they travel to places where they can learn, develop opinions on the world, hike to beautiful places that refresh their minds and ultimately that they would constantly be searching for a new adventure.

Eyes.

Mine have seen Cathedrals that took over 250 years to build, 5-foot stingrays, the Earth from the top of mountains, love stories unfold, redemption, PURE laughter, new life and on and on.  I pray that God would give me His eyes (for just one second, give me your eyes so I can see… :)) and He has been faithful to that.  Everyday I am in Denver He shows me something new.  Besides seeing some pretty incredible things He has given me the chance to see heartache, brokenness, complete hopelessness and more.  As much as those things pain me, I am thankful for them.  For the longest time I did not know how to embrace the marginalized, He has more than changed that. 

Two nights ago my group served with Mean Street Ministries, a ministry that goes door to door to motels off of Colfax delivering burritos and asking for prayer requests.  We pulled up to the first motel and behind this bush comes running the prettiest little girl I have ever seen in my whole life.  I will NEVER forget her face.  She came running up to the bus, anxious to see whom we were and what gifts we were bearing.  She was covered in dirt; head to toe.  Her clothes were stained, torn and filthy.  She wore a pink shirt with a skirt that looked a few sizes too small.  Her hair was long, curly & dark.  Her smile completely took over her face and then there were her eyes; big, blue and beautiful.  

Not much can compare to looking into the eyes of a child.  If I've learned anything in my communication classes it's that looking into someones eyes communicates compassion.  After delivering burritos I walked over to this child and talked with her.  She showed me her bear, then blushed when I told her how pretty she was.  Those eyes were hopeful; despite the fact that she looked as if she had not been bathed in a week, despite the fact that her care takers did not take notice of her when she was begging for their attention by running in the street, despite the fact that she was running around a dumpster for fun.  My eyes were protected from the things my parents did not want me to see at a young age, and I am thankful to them for that.  I was broken as we pulled out of the parking lot, and God reminded me that she has all the same opportunities I had when I was her age.  I told Him, "But she probably does not have parents who care for her the way mine did.  She's getting ignored and he childhood is being taken away from her."  God then did something really cool, He told me that no matter what her living situation is, where she comes from, who her parents are or what she has seen, He made her eyes and He has things He is going to show her.  Touche God, touche.

Hands.

My prayer this week is that the Lord would allow me to lay hands on His people.  Ask, seek, knock; the Lord will deliver.  She was at the second motel we stopped and she refused to tell me her name. This woman had a tough demeanor to her that was almost intimidating, but not intimidating enough to turn me away.  She had a rough face and her hands were trembling.  She told myself and the other two in my group that her family (3 children and boyfriend) were going to be kicked out of their motel room on Thursday.  We told her that we would love to pray with her, but she insisted that she was not the one who needed prayer, her children were.  We kneeled down to her level, held hands and prayed a simple prayer.  We asked the Lord to keep her children safe and to lay His hand of protection over their lives.  We asked Him to make His presence known and with a somber “amen” I looked up to see God DEMOLISHING the walls His child had built up.  I got to physically watch hope and tears fill the eyes of this woman.   Praise the Lord for not only allowing me to clasp my hand together with this woman's, but for interceding on my behalf to bring glory to Him and hope to His beloved child.

I have spent the last 3 days desperately trying to write out the things the Lord is teaching me.  Backspace after backspace, after cut & paste; this does not do what the Lord is doing in my heart justice.  Just know that God is good and there is A LOT going on in my heart.  

Here are some pictures from our VBS.  These children's willingness and innocence are what have kept me so joyful this week.  

Denver through the eyes of a wanna-be local.

Saturday afternoons; they are the best time of the entire week, hands down.  For one, the amount of laziness that is accepted is at its peak, and for two, rain or shine they are the prettiest day out of the seven.  Plus, the way "Saturday afternoon" rolls off my tongue makes me want to lay a wet one on every person I see.  There is a lot of magic to be experienced on this particular day of the week and this past Saturday was no exception.  

I love pictures for reasons I cannot put into words, so my sweet friend Brittany and I took a long walk through downtown Denver this past Saturday to capture the city from our perspective.  When I say our perspective I mean the things we notice that other people might ignore or avoid.  

The church lawn, across the street from my house, is home to many and on a I-can't-breathe-it's-so-hot afternoon the trees that line the sidewalk are rumored to be the hotspot for a little shut eye, as proven by this man.  

To the people who find comfort in shopping carts and benches along Colfax; thanks for being friendly and for ALWAYS returning my smile with a smile or a real slick head nod.  

One of the many reasons Colfax is referred to as the Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

CSM Denver hosts are a regular at this joint; crunchy french toast is a MUST & they might as well put a plaque with our names on it at the booth in the back against the door.  I already know that some of our very best memories of this summer will be made here!  

They hire the homeless & I have yet to try their pizza, but I've heard UNREAL things about it.  

Colfax, thanks for being beautiful, in a very broken way.  

I have a new found obsession with this building.  JUST LOOK AT IT.  

The Denver Mint is the PRETTIEST building in the city of Denver.  But, that's only if you don't count the houses that line Downing Street.  

In case you forgot, west texans, trees are a thing and they are big and beautiful & GREEN & I just wanna hang out with them all day.  

Preach it Municipal Office Building wall, PREACH IT!  

There are several pianos on 16th street mall and I am thankful to the city of Denver for putting them there.  Music is joy, especially when my sweet homeless friends are the ones making it.  

This guy can make a goldfish appear from under his hat.  I flipped.  

I talked about Steve in my last post, this is him.  Brittany and I got to talking to him for another hour when we were on our photo escapade.  Once again, he's BRILLIANT and as much as he pretends to hate us for distracting him from work, he loves to ask questions.  

Just a little 16th street humor!! 

Life is sweet and I still can't believe this is real life.  Praise the Lord for giving me a new lens to look at His people through!!

A dream come true.

Over the course of the last 4 years I would catch myself daydreaming about the life I would one day live in Colorado.  I've planned out the trails I would walk my dog down, the coffee shops I would go to when I wanted to read, the friends I would make and the food I would eat.  When I had trouble falling asleep I would mentally plan a layout for my house; I planned everything from where all the furniture would go to what I would see when I looked out each window.  Yesterday, as my coworkers and I were climbing up the side of a mountain, my sweet new friend Brittany said, "We live in Colorado, how cool is that?"  I then proceeded to proclaim over the Continental Divide, "I LIVE IN COLORADO!!"  This is an absolute dream; a dream I've been dreaming since I was eight years old.  My soul is SO happy and SO content.  

I have learned more than I ever thought possible about the city of Denver over the last week and a half.  Early mornings and late evenings of training and preparing for this summer have been a lot of work, but there is something indescribable about getting paid to live in a city you love while serving a God who knew I would eventually end up here.  His plan for my life was perfected during the first 6 days (thanks Mrs. Brooks :)) and He has so divinely orchestrated every single one of my steps and that gives my heart a new kind of joy.  

Part of our training has included visiting a large number of the ministry sites we will be taking our groups to while they are here on their mission trips.  We have gotten to serve our homeless friends, we've gotten to fellowship with our homeless friends, we've gotten to work in a thrift shop that hires refugees, we've gotten to go door to door with burritos and prayers at motels throughout Denver.  

I've seen a lot of brokenness, a lot of healing, a lot of joy and a lot of sadness over the last week and a half, but you know what the Lord makes NO mistakes.  I have been dwelling in Psalms 139 for a good 3 months now.  I read it a good two to three times a day because those verses describe exactly who I am in the image of Christ. I am nothing less than what those verses say and neither are ANY of the people I've met here in Denver.  The Bible is a book written for everyone, and there are no exceptions to that.  

My new friend Devin, that I met at the BAC, who is 20 years old moved to Denver from San Antonio to live with his mom, but for different reasons his mom and him don't talk anymore so I have no idea where he is living now.  However, there is not a doubt in my mind that The Lord is holding Devin in the palm of his hand.  

Steve, a vender for the Voice (a homeless newspaper written by the homeless for the homeless), is the most brilliant person I have ever met.  We all decided if he were to cut his hair a little bit and take off his hat he could be a professor.  Really though, He was BRILLIANT.  

Saybien (I am probably spelling his name wrong) is our sweet homeless friend from Alaska.  We've spent a lot of time getting to know him because he hangs out at the church across the street from our house.  We've helped bandage up his leg, bought him Burger King, talked with him, prayed with him and let him cry to us.  His two favorite verses are, "Jesus wept" and "What you do for the least of these, you do for me" and he will let you know it every single time you sit down to talk with him.  

Psalm 139:15 says I was created in a secret place, and that I was woven together in the depths of the Earth.  My friends Devin, Steve and Saybien were also created in a secret place, and they too were woven together in the depths of the Earth.  I am a joy to the Lord and my new friends are a joy to the Lord.  I am no more and no less of a person than Devin, Steve and Saybien in the eyes of the Lord.  Thank goodness for that!!

Just because I want to brag on this cool city I get to call home for the next 2 months I'm going to, very quickly, share some of other REALLY cool things I've seen in the last 11 days:

Purple door coffee:  They hire homeless runaways and serve the BEST vanilla lattes.  

Hanging out with day laborers:  These are the people who stand out in all kinds of weather hoping someone will come pick them up and take them to work.  We got to serve them coffee and pastries while they waited for work.

Mean Streets: A group of people go out every Monday and Tuesday to love on the people living in Motels off of Colfax.

S.A.M.E. Cafe- You can pay what you think they meal is worth or you can clean tables, sweep the sidewalk or other work for your lunch.  They served some of the best pesto chicken pizza I've ever tasted!

This is the sweet life.  I get to love on people every single day, for the Lord's glory.  All I have to do is look west and I'll see mountains.  I am working along side some of the most beautiful souls.  God reigns over all and I am secure under His hand of protection. 

First aid & prayers for Saybien.  

The city of Denver is blessed by this place. 

12,000 feet up in the sky.  

My heart is full of love because of these two.  We decided to put all our beds together and watch High School Musical last night.  I am thankful that they appreciate a good adventure and a healthy amount of snuggle time.  

This moment.

I am having a moment and rather than sitting on it I thought I would capture it with a few, simple words.  

This moment is one of those flop down on my bed and stare at the four blank walls surrounding me moments.  This moment is not monumental or life changing.  There is nothing too profound or significant about this moment, I just know this is something I will remember.   

This feeling/moment comes at the end of every spring semester.  It is mixed with a whole lot of "I'm not really sure how I should feel right now" emotions.  This heavy, anxious, nervous, sad, happy, unsure feeling comes at the end of every summer I've spent at home, every Christmas break and any time I've left Lubbock for more than a week.  I like to call this moment right here the "I'm turning the page" moment.  It is not the end of a big event or a life changing move or anything else too crazy, it's just the character in a book going on a long vacation, closing the door on a relationship, changing jobs or moving houses.  Tomorrow, I am turning the page.  Tomorrow, I leave the apartment I've been living in for the past 2 years for the last time.  Tomorrow, I say goodbye to my best friends for a whole 3 months.  Tomorrow, I pack up what's left of my room and drive home.  Okay, so maybe it is a little more than just a page.  

I just really, REALLY love Lubbock, Texas and it makes me sad to think that I will be turning a lot more than just a page this time next year.  

Praise the Lord for His divine plan for my life.  Praise the Lord! 

My heart is freeeee!

Just so you are aware, this post was inspired by a really wonderful smelling candle and the sun that is beaming through my window.

These moments do not come around too often, but I know that this feeling I have right now is something I never want to forget.

Friends, I am obsessed with this season of my life.  I am MADLY in love with the people in my life.  I am jumping up and down at the idea of being in a state of transition.  I have the butterflies ALL THE TIME because the God who reigns over all of the Earth tells me I am RIGHTEOUS.  If you haven't noticed the smile that has been plastered on my face all week, then I would like you to picture an ear to ear, mouth wide open, squinty eyes smile and you've got an idea of why my cheek bones have been sore.  

I have never felt so special, so loved, so taken care of, so adored and so desired.  

The joy of the Lord is a REAL thing.  All I want to do is sing and dance and smile and jump up and down and curl up in a ball and sway back in forth.  I was sitting on the edge of my bed this afternoon and became so overwhelmed with every kind of happy emotion, so I stood up and began to jump up and down!  This is the joy I am talking about guys.  You do not have to be happy, but you can CHOOSE to be joyful.  You are the only thing keeping yourself from experiencing this joy!  Right now, get up and jump to the sky.  RIGHT NOW I TELL YOU!

I wish Friday afternoons were a physical thing I could hug, because man do I wish I could just wrap them up in my arms and whisper "thaaaaaank you for being great" in their ear.  Today and tomorrow and yesterday and every other day is PERFECT, because this joy is always offered and always tangible.  Jump to the sky for this joy!  

I am really, really, really excited about life right now.

AND I LEAVE FOR DENVER, CO IN 24 DAYS!!!!! Bring on the new adventures. 

Goodness guys, go get yourself some of this joy.  GO GET IT! 

Hometown glory.

I set aside the next hour and a half to study, but I've been lacking inspiration for the past two days and of course I found it at 8 this morning, so here we go. 

Friendships are the sweetest part of my life.  I find the MOST joy in sitting in the presence of people I love.  I like to talk and encourage them, but more than anything I love simply sitting with them.  I speak my loudest words through silence and facial expressions.  As much as I love and cling to words I find peace in the silent conversation going on between myself and the people around me.  

It is no secret that I am LOUD, LOUD, LOUD.  I can't tell you how many times a day someone tells me to stop yelling at them.  (My parents actually thought I had a hearing problem when I was little because I talked so loud…)  Sometimes people think I am in a bad mood or frustrated when I'm not talking, but really I'm enjoying the sitting back and listening.  

I AM RICH IN GOOD FRIENDS.  I have the 4 most beautiful, free spirited hometown best friends that I talk to all the time.  These girls KNOW ME.  They understand my silence and my loud, excited, high pitched squeals.  The 5 of us ALL got together for the first time since Christmas last Friday and we had to leave the restaurant we were being so loud.  One of us would walk in the door and we would all stand up and greet each other with the sweet hugs and big smiles.  It felt like we were in a movie, five best friends reuniting, all trying to talk over each other, trying to tell this story and that story.  I'm pretty sure at one point we had to start taking turns talking.  All 4 of these sweet girls plan on being teachers and I do not so you can imagine how often I have to sit back and just listen to what they have to say.  We moved to a table outside of the restaurant so we could talk louder and make all the inappropriate jokes we wanted to without being judged by the highly annoyed waitresses… For a good 30 minutes I sat back and let the 4 of them talk out student teaching stories, this kid did that stories and all that other teacher stuff I know NOTHING about.  

I was looking off into the distance, letting them talk talk talk, while I took in the fact that I was at my favorite hole in the wall mexican food restaurant with my favorite people.   I was also taking in the fact that things were about to really change for all of us.  College has been easy, we have not lost an ounce of contact-- we talk ALL THE TIME.  But real life is HERE. 

Life is so cool in the way it is so consistent yet changing ALL the time.  There are aspects of my life that alter, but ultimately stay the exact same and these girls are part of that consistency.  It has always been known that every Thanksgiving, Christmas and at least a week or two out of the summer we would all be able to sit down and catch up face-to-face.  A piece of that consistency will be changing in the next few months and that is just as sad as it is exciting.  Since we were in high school we've all been working towards some kind of dream and now those dreams are being made into a reality and to that I say, "CHAMPAIGN ALL AROUND!!"  But man it's a little sad at the same time.  

I think my favorite and least favorite part about life is the change.  I am huge on tradition and even bigger on things ALWAYS STAYING THE SAME, but at the same time I love uncertainty and all the adventure that comes along with that.  I am constantly reminding myself to live in the now rather than in the tomorrow, I just get so excited about the next chapter of my life and I want to know what's next!  I find joy in knowing that I am taken care of, all the days of my life are ordained and I have full faith that those days are filled with a whole bunch of dancing, good music, good food, lovely people, adventure, love and peace.  

There will always ALWAYS be something special about driving through Mansfield with my 4 best friends and country music blaring.  There is laughter and love and squeals and smiles and tears and love and hurt and uncertainty and beauty and everything lying in the hearts of each of us and together we can sit in silence and just know.  That is special and something I will always cherish. 

This morning I am especially thankful for Natasa, Summer, Whitney and Lindsey.  

THEN

NOW

THEN

NOW

THEN

NOW

THEN

NOW

THESE ARE MY PEOPLE!