I am still dreaming about the day I pack my life into the trunk of my car and head off to "the best four years of my life." College is a place where I plan to meet hundreds of new people, hangout really late on school nights, eat ramen noodles for every meal and study a little here and there. I still have an idea of what my college experience is going to be like, and then I step back and remember that in one week I am done with this thing I am still looking forward to. ONE WEEK and I will never have to study again, do homework or papers or group projects or research or extra credit or speeches or presentations and that is beautiful. This season is over; college is over and it is undeniably terrifying in the most heart wrenching way. Life after college is not something I ever felt a need to envision. At the end of every season I have been able to imagine what the next season was going to look like, but I didn't picture anything beyond the idea of 3 dogs and a house when it came to life after receiving my degree. I wasn't supposed to ever ACTUALLY arrive at this place of absolute independence and job searching and new states and everyone leaving me to get married and start their own adventure. We were supposed to all stay in the same place; throwing Harry Potter parties, having dinners in the backyard, going on road trips, hanging out in fields, eating fast food at two in the morning, jumping strangers' fences, exploring back roads, going dancing until our feet hurt, spending money we didn't have, eating queso for lunch and dinner, getting the cops called on us, lounging in the park under trees with our books and stories all while enjoying the presence of the people hand picked for us to experience all this with. But we aren't, we aren't supposed to stay in this place where we know how everything works and functions, because that isn't exciting and won't stretch us. We cannot continue to grow when we are living in a state of mind that we have outgrown. If you are in the process of transitioning from one season to the next, you are ready. Every part of who you are; your mind, heart, thoughts, desires and dreams have been prepared for all the big and small things this new chapter can't wait to present to you. And just because my seasons are changing does not mean I can't still do the crazy things I've done in college. Don't be too cool for your new seasons, allow the things that make you, you spill over into your new season. Because I don't know about you, but I don't ever plan on letting honey butter chicken biscuits, at 2 in the morning, go.
College is this distant idea and concept I have not grasped or fully understand yet. Maybe 3 years from now I'll look back at the conversations, experiences, stories, hangout times and recognize them as life altering moments, but for now the last 4 years of my life is a tangled mess that I don't have a single emotion, thought or word for. The person on the other side of "the best 4 years of my life" is someone I can't describe and someone I don't really know yet, which is really cool. I love the idea that with the places we visit, the things we see, the people we meet, the opportunities we're given, the trials we face, the obstacles we overcome, the words that hurt us and the secrets we share we fall deeper into the person we are destined to be. The thing is, we don't just deal with the hurts and happy's of each season and then leave them there, they follow us; the strength we inherent and the scars we are still healing from are part of the you that is entering into your new season and that's okay.
Here's this; you are going to be told no, you are going to be rejected, you are going to be accepted, lifted up, torn down, encouraged, disrespected and loved, and you know what? Not only are your dreams valid, but the deepest desires of your heart are valid. When someone says no to you, that is not the Lord saying no to you, that is His way of saying YES to something else. When you are told YES, live in the fact that the opportunity/situation is tailored for you.
So, if your seasons are changing then embrace the unpredictable future that is excited and ready to welcome you with open arms and happy smiles. You think you know what's going to happen and you can try to mentally and spiritually prepare all you want, but the things that are going to take place in your heart are things only the Creator of the mountains, caves, oceans, trees, flowers, leaves, wind, animals and Heavens can think up. And if you are being told yes, then confidently live in the yes. If you are being told no, then you aren't really being told no at all, you're just being told yes to something that hasn't been revealed to you yet. If you don't know what you're being told, well then sitting at the feet of the Lord with a joyful spirit and a happy heart, is a good place to start.
